


His Best Moments

by lucifr (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - High School, Character Death, Destiel - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-11
Updated: 2014-01-20
Packaged: 2018-01-04 08:30:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1078809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/lucifr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is just settling into his new high school. Thankfully, his first day orientation guide is  an equally as shy student: Castiel Novak. A special bond begins to form between the two as they help each other survive the troubles of high school.</p><p>This is my first fanfiction so please leave advice!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I try to remember him for his best moments. The times he would laugh, make me laugh sometimes, the times he kept me going and supported me. I remember the time we first met in high school; I was just figuring everything out then, trying to find myself, you know, the teenager stuff. And I'm sure he was just as confused, he just didnt show it. He came across so confident and sure of himself, even though he was conservative and quiet. 

 

We first met in 7th grade. I was new to the school and he was assigned to show me around. 'Hello, my name is Castiel,' was the first thing he said to me. At the time, his voice was delicate- not high but light and sort of angelic. 

 

'Dean Winchester,' I replied, equally as shy and monotone as he had spoken to me. We didn't talk all that much throughout that first day; during second period he lent me a pencil and at recess he asked me what food I had but that was about it. I didn't really talk to anyone for a week or so actually. On the third Wednesday, Castiel spoke to me again. 

 

'How are you finding the school?' It was strange how well he spoke, how clean and well pronounced all his words were.

 

'Er, it's good I guess,' It wasn't. I mean, it wasn't bad but it definately wasn't good either. To be perfectly honest I had been waiting for someone to talk to me first; come to think of it now, I was really waiting for Cas.

 

'Have you made any friends?' There was a long, awkward pause before he said that. I kept my eyes on the sandwitch in my lap as I replied.

 

'Not really,' I wasn't trying to hide anything. What was the point in making myself look cool when it was pretty clear I wasn't?

 

'You don't talk much,' -way to state the obvious dude- 'I think you should talk more, you have a lovely voice.' I started lifting my head to look at him and thank him. I was almost facing upright when we made eye contact. Then he stood up and left. I spent the rest of the day confused and thinking about him. He felt kind of neutral to me at the time, I had no feeling for or against him; which was good, but confusing. I hadn't talked to him enough to call him a friend yet but the way he spoke to me was so comforting and just.. nice that I felt like we had known each other for years. It's like that feeling you get when a celebrity dies; you knew everything about them and yet you were always going to be complete strangers. 

 

We didn't talk for another week or so. I liked how he did that; he knew when he had made an impact on me and he gave me time to consider everything. So during the week I started talking to people. Balthazar sat near me one lunch time so I used the oportunity to make a new friend. He soon introduced me to Kevin, the only person at school who seemed to have a normal name. 

 

'So,' Balthazar's strong English accent carried across the empty basketball court. 'Have you run into Crowley yet?'

 

'Crowley?' Neither of them ran away when we made eye contact this time.

 

'School bully. He has like a little gang that follows him around. Call themselves the "Hell Hounds". They think they're so cool, always trying to pick up the Demonties.'

 

'And they are..?'

 

'They're the popular girls. Like clones of one another, each as slutty and stupid as the next. They all copy Abaddon, the head girl. Just as bad as the Hell Hounds I reckon.'

 

'Demonties? People seriously call them that?' The whole thing sounded like some scene from Grease to me.

 

'We just call them demons 'cause that's all they are really.' Kevin spat through a mouthful of muesli bar. He was right though; Abaddon alone was just as bad, if not worse than Crowley's whole group put together. She would lure you in and let you trust her, then she ripped your heart out, threw it into shards of glass and stomped on it with ice-skates before gift wrapping it and giving it back to you as a present to remember her by. She was dispicable. No... Evil. She didn't bother me for a while though, in the beginning it was mostly Crowley.

 

'You're Winchester right?' He was slightly taller than me, Crowley. He had short dark hair attatched to a round, sharp face. He had a small yet solid figure, the kind you know wouldn't topple if you gave it a push. I ignored him. 'Stop acting like such a pussy Winnie, look at me!'

 

'What?'

 

'I asked what your name is.'

 

'You already know that, what do you want?'

 

His face screwed up and he puffed out his chest. 'Who's your boyfriend Winnie?' He gestured to my right. I turned around-as far as I knew, I was walking the corridors alone. Apparently not.

 

'Castiel isn't my boyfriend,' I broke off from a stare with him and turned to Crowley. 'He's just a friend.' That was the first time I called him my friend. I only really did it to act like a smart arse and annoy the bully but it kind of felt right saying it.

 

'Oh?' Crowley sniggered with his gang behing him. 'How come he suddenly shows up here to defend you then, huh? You hardly even talk and he wants to protect you already?' He shoved me to the ground so I tripped him up on my way down. His body fell with a thud to the laminated floor. Shouldn't have done that...

 

'Who do you think you are you little shit?' He was ontop of me by then. Already bashed my face half purple before Castiel's pleas of mercy were heard.

 

'Get off him,' There was no ergency in his voice. 'What did he ever do to you, assbutt?' There was silence. Crowley stopped punching and stood up.

 

'The hell did you just call me, Novak?' He took a step towards Cas.

 

'Assbutt,' He took a step towards Crowley. 'I founded the word,' Another step. 'Do you like it?' And another. If either had moved an inch closer they could've kissed. Thank god they didn't. Cas was smaller than Crowley in every way except his voice which, in only a matter of weeks, had dropped almost an octave and was beginning to form an intimidating rusty sound. 

 

Crowley threw a punch. Cas ducked. Crowley threw another and Cas ducked again, countering the attack with a heavy blow to his gut, followed by a swift foot sweep knocking the bully to the ground. I was too tired to do anything but stare at the wincing Crowley lying infront of me. My trail of empty thought was interupted by a tight squeeze on my right hand and a forceful yank on my arm. 

 

I followed the source of the pulling out of fear that if I didn't, something important in my arm would pop out of place. We were running. Out of the hall, around the side of the school and into a large indent in the bricks that smelled strongly of tobacco.

 

'What... were you... doing?' I panted through swolen lips. I didn't have to look at him to tell who he was.

 

'I didn't want you to get hurt,' Castiel wasn't even the slightest bit breathless. 'You called me a friend.'

 

'Yeah?' It wasn't really the first thing I would've thought of after a fight but he's a strange kid, Cas.

 

'Friends protect each other.' His large, dopey puppy-dog eyes stared straight into mine.

 

'You couldn't have made that sound any cheesier could you?' I laughed and patted him on the shoulder before getting to my feet.

 

'Wait,' Cas hadn't moved. 'We cannot go back inside, we will be punished.'

 

'What do we do then, Cas?' The nickname slipped out.

 

'Come to my house; we can wait there until school finishes.'

 

'And tomorrow?'

 

'We can think of a plan when we get to mine.' He stood up and started walking towards the back of the school. I followed.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel's house was old. Old and run down. But not the nice kind of old and run down like a lovely 1920's style home, more of a 1950's shack with the roof falling in and soggy carpet from the rain. At first, I found the disorganised, messy interior rather confronting but I began to settle in once Cas showed me around. Actually I take that back; Castiel took me straight to his room. He didn't say anything the whole way home, breaking the silence only once we had climbed the stairs to his bedroom and shut the door. 

'Sorry about the state of my house,' We were both standing awkwardly on oposite sides of the room, staring intently down at the floor. 'My mother hasn't been home for a while and my brother, Gabriel moved out recently.'

'What about your dad?' I was looking up at him by now. His head had lowered even closer to the ground.

'My father died from cancer when I was four.' I shifted my gaze back to the floor. There was silence.

'I- I'm sorry.' I'd never made a mistake like that before. Sure, other people had said it to me but I'd never known how horrible it felt to remind someone of such pain. An instant feeling of guilt rose in my stomach.

'I do not remember him very well, it's okay.' He looked up to me and gave me a reassuring smile. I hadn't seen him smile yet, and to know that the first time I saw it was when talking of such a morbid topic both concerned and comforted me. 'Do you want to sit down?' Cas made a gesture towards the spinny chair beside me.

'Uh, yeah, thanks,' I hadn't realised how tired I was until I finally took a seat. My feet were aching, my swolen cheeks were throbbing and a feeling of overall exhaustion ran through my body, causing me to let out an unintentional sigh of relief. Cas followed suit and sighed softly to himself as he settled down on the single bed behind him. We spent about thirty seconds looking at the floor before I found the courage to lift my head and look into his deep blue eyes. 'Assbutt?' There was a pause, then Cas wheezed and we both joined a round of laughter, finding humor in nothing more than our own stupidity. Castiel exhaled and fell backwards onto his bed, his arms spread out to his sides and his gaze focussed purely on the water stained ceiling. 

'Why would he pick on you though? You could knock him out with one punch!' The laughter faded until we were both just slightly grinning.

'I dunno, I'm new. I don't have any friends to protect me yet.' Cas sat up and looked me straight in the eye.

'I tried to protect you,' His smile had decreased to a tiny lip curl.

'Yeah you did, thankyou,' We made eye contact for a split second, in which I noticed a slight blush appear on Castiel's cheeks. 'Why?'

'Pardon?'

'Why were you there? I had no idea you were following me.' He seemed too shy to make eye contact still.

'I wasn't following you,' His voice was soft but strong and deep. 'I just... happened to be there at the right time.'

'But why did you help me? No one else even cared.' Castiel shrugged.

'You seem nice and Crowley is not. I want him to learn his lesson.' He looked up at me and gave me a little half smile. Though I was still considering reasons as to why he was there, I fixed my blank expression and returned the smile.

'So, what are we gonna do about tomorrow?' I perked up, trying to usher the awkward silence away.

'Hm? Oh right, tomorrow...' Cas' brow furrowed as he thought of a plan. 'Maybe we could just walk in, hope Crowley has forgotten.'

'Yeah right, he's probably told the principle and spread rumors half way across the neighbourhood by now. There's no way we'll get away with it, we might as well act like it never happened and just accept the consiquences.'

'Then we will do as you said; act like it never happened.' I gave him a look to exaggerate the obvious sarcasm in my previous statement.

'I was joking, Cas.'

'I know but that might actually work. Just act as though nothing is wrong, ignore Crowley and if the principle asks about it, we can tell him the truth. Tell him what Crowley did to us first.' We held a stare for about ten seconds before I exhaled and gave in.

'Fine,' I stood up. 'You know we'll still get in trouble right?'

'I know, but so will Crowley, and knowing that satisfies me,' He smiled and I replied with a breathy laugh before turning towards the bedroom door. 'Where are you going?' Cas looked puzzled.

'Home. Sammy'll be wondering where I am,' His expression remained confused as though my reason wasn't enough. 'Sam's my little brother, he still needs me around, Cas.' His frown lines dissapeared.

'Okay, I will see you tomorrow then?'

'Yeah, see you then.' I held up my hand and turned away from Cas, watching him just long enough to see him nod in farewell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hope youre enjoying the fic so far! I have ideas for the rest of the story but im flexible so im open for suggestions from anyone! Please leave comments, feedback, advice, questions anything, it really helps! Thankyou again guys!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry christmas everyone!! Hope you all have a wonderful holiday! Also i hope you enjoy this chapter, as always, please leave feedback and ill get back to you soon with chapter 4 :)!

I shut the front door as quietly as I could when I entered my house, hoping no one had noticed my absence. It was much later than I thought; Around 5 o'clock or something. I didn't know Cas' place was such a long walk from my house, otherwise I would've left sooner. I walked through the front hallway to the living room, dumping my bag outside my bedroom as I went. 

'Where were you, Dean?' Dad's voice was deep and husky. Angry. I could tell he'd been drinking again.

'Sorry, I got lost on the way home.' I tried to walk past his armchair and straight into the kitchen without discussion. That didn't work.

'What do you mean "lost"?' He stood up from his chair, a strong smell of alcohol wafted from his body across the room. 'You've been perfectly fine getting home the last few weeks.'

'I was just... tired, not paying enough attention to where I was going, don't worry.' I turned around at the wrong time, leaving me face-to-face with my Dad in a situation I had no chance of getting out of.

'What's on your face?' Shit, I completely forgot about the bruises. 'Did someone beat you up?'

'No, Dad, it's fine. I just... tripped and fell, no big deal.' He pinched my swolen cheeks. I winced in pain, closing my eyes in attempt to hide my emotions.

'Dean, who hit you?' The anger in his voice rose.

'Dad, I'm fine. No one hit me, I just fell on my face okay? I'm alright.' He pointed to me with one hand and gripped my shoulder tight with the other.

'If you're lying to me again Dean, so help me I will-'

'Dean!' Sam came running out from his room and straight into my legs. Dad let me go and leant back on his armchair.

'Hey, Sammy! How you going little guy?' I bent down and gave him a hug, my arms almost wrapping twice around his tiny frame.

'Good,' I pulled back and held him at arms length. 'Dean, what's wrong with your face?'

'What's wrong with it? Aren't I handsome anymore? Are you saying I'm... ugly?' He giggled.

'No! You're face is all funny and poufed up!'

'Ahh, don't worry about it, Sammy, I just fell over on the way home.' I smiled at him, tousling his shaggy hair before heading to my bedroom and resting before dinner.

The dining table was quiet. Silent, even, if it weren't for the banging of cutlery on plate and the chewing of food. Dad sat opposite me.

'So son, how was school today?' I kept my eyes on my dinner as I answered.

'Not bad,' I lied.

'What did you do?'

'Just the normal stuff, reading, writing, math,'

'Who'd you hang out with at lunch?' Strange question...

'Just... Balthazaar and Kevin, like usual,'

'Oh okay,' There was silence again, except this time, there was no clatter of cutlery coming from Dad's end of the table. 'Were they the ones who hit you?'

'Dad, no one hit me, I-'

'I'm not falling for that crap again, Dean. I know what a punch wound looks like, I'm not gonna just sit back and act like nothing's happened like at your old school.' We held a long stare. My eyes started filling with tears so I looked down to hide them. 'Dean, I want you to be safe. I want both of you to be safe. Do you understand?'

Sam swollowed his tears and joined me in saying: 'Yes sir.'

School the next day wasn't that bad. My face was de-poufing but starting to tighten up as it healed. Cas and I didn't talk (not surprisingly). Crowely and I bumped shoulders once but that was all we heard from each other. No announcement to see either of us, no fights between us, no eye contact, nothing. The lack of communication between us was made up for by several people who came up to see me and congratulate me on my 'bravery'. Since I got so much attention for this, I was surprised to notice that no one was giving credit to Castiel who, as usual, was sitting alone under the big oak tree eating lunch several days later.

'Hey,' He didn't lift his head when I spoke to him.

'Hello,' A beat.

'What are you doing?' I sat down next to him and crossed my legs.

'Eating,' There was a long pause in which we both sat, awkwardly shifting our gaze from place to place every couple of seconds.

'Er... where are your friends?'

'I usually sit alone,'

'Why?'

'Because no one comes to sit with me,' I hesitated.

'I'm sitting with you,' He hesitated.

'Well you are one of the few,' He gave me a smile and continued with his sandwitch.

'Are we friends, Cas?' He smiled again. On a whole, he was starting to look happier than when we first met. Less lonely in a way.

'Yes. If you're okay with that?' I laughed.

'Why wouldn't I be.'


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright happy new year everyone! Hope you enjoy chapter 4 and as usual, I'll get onto chapter 5 as soon as posible!

After that, Cas and I started talking more often. Not reguarly, but more often. Once every two or three days I guess. I was still hanging around Balthazar and Kevin at lunch, still occasionally getting bullied by Crowley and still maintaining the same awkward relationship with my Dad. This went on for about a year, nothing really advanced in my life other than a slight increase in popularity (which was quickly brought down when I was seen talking to Cas) and a small growth spurt.

It was Tuesday and I was alone. Balthazar was sick and Kevin was in some other country visiting family. I was walking over to Castiel's tree at lunch when Abaddon stopped me in my tracks.

'Hey, Dean. That is your name right?' This was the first time we talked but she obviously knew my name. She was wearing a low cut top covered by a half buttoned cardigan stretched tight across her massive chest. She twirled her hair seductively.

'Yeah,' I tried to avoid eye contact without looking below her neck. She noticed and giggled.

'Don't be shy honey, I don't bite... usually...' She smiled and bit her lip. 'So I'm having a party on Friday. You know, to celebrate the end of the year and shit. Do you wanna come?' I really didn't.

'I think I'm... busy, I might have-'

'Great! It starts at six, don't be late,' She blew a kiss and turned. 'Oh, and don't bring the Novak kid. Actually, don't bring anyone.' She turned again, this time winking before she walked back to her clique. I stood still for a second to take in what just happened, then shrugged it off and walked over to Cas.

'Hey,'

'What did she want?'

'Ah nothing, just talking about some stupid party she's having. How's your day been?'

'Are you going to go?' Cas looked me dead in the eye.

'What, to the party? Nah, don't think so. What are you doing this weekend? Maybe we could hang out?'

'I'm going away on Friday to visit my aunt. Sorry.' He didn't look overly apologetic, more regretful, like he wished he wasn't busy.

'It's cool, maybe next week,' Cas smiled and continued eating his lunch.

Friday came, bringing with it no more excitement or joy than any other day did. Cas and Kevin were still gone but Balthazar was back, just as vibrant and over-the-top as ever. We were packing our bags for the last time in 8th grade-our lockers were next to each other.

'You coming to Abaddon's tonight?' I'd completely forgotten about it.

'Uh, I dont know. Are you?'

'Yeah! Dude there'll be girls!' He punched my arm. 'I'll see you there then.' I watched myself lazily throw books into my bag as I considered my options. I was allowed to have one night of fun, right?

Balthazar and I met up a few streets from Abaddon's place. The road was dark and quiet if it weren't for the distant thumping presumably coming from the party.

'So, you pumped?' Balthazar nudged me.

'Yeah, sure,' I kept my eyes fixed on the side walk. 'Oh by the way, is it okay that I told my Dad I'm having a sleepover at your place? He wouldn't have let me come otherwise.'

'Yeah no worries. You wanna come back for the night anyway? My parents aren't home and your Dad wouldn't want to see you hammered am I right?' I laughed and nodded. The thumping got louder and louder as we walked until the muffled noises became lyrics and it turned into music when we entered the house. It was packed. If you looked really really hard you could probably see some carpet but my eyes were glued to the floor most of the time and all I saw were high heels and confetti.

After about an hour of enduring loud music, my own feeble attempts at conversation and other people's puke, I decided to hide myself in an empty room until we left. There were several rooms upstairs; the first of which I found two half drunk girls patting the third on the back as she cried and puked into the toilet, the second held Balthazar sucking the face off Gerard Waters (as far as I could remember this was the first time I'd seen the football player underneith someone so skinny) and the third was empty. Not quiet obviously, but enough so to nap in until the party was over. I sat down on the double bed and let out a heavy sigh. *I wonder what im doing these holidays* I thought. *I wonder what Cas is doing...* The bedroom door burst open. Abaddon stumbled into the room, still facing the door as she closed it gently. She cackled loudly to herself, stopping imediately when she turned and saw me. She was really drunk. Her flaming red hair was teased in areas and flat in others, her top was hanging off one shoulder and her makeup was smudged across her face. Even so, she still looked attractive.

'Hey Winchester,' she started walking towards me, delicately as if she were on a catwalk. 'I thought you were busy tonight?'

'Change of plans,' I gave her a smile indicating I was happier alone. She sat down next to me and threw her legs across mine.

'I'm glad you came Dean, I wanna tell you something,' She gently carressed my cheeks, patting them almost... lovingly. 'I think you're really brave okay? You're brave and... and hot... so hot, you're like the hottest guy in the school, all the girls want you but...' She looked me in the eye. 'It's a shame they're not me.' She aimed for my lips but missed ever-so-slightly, pulling them closer by dragging her tongue across mine until she reached her destination. I was lost in her kiss until I realised how drunk she was and pulled away.

'Abaddon, you're tired, maybe you should-'

'C'mon Dean,' She kissed my jaw, 'You're the hottest guy,' Her lips had reached my collarbones, 'I'm the hottest girl,' She unbuttoned my shirt, 'We'll be unstoppable.' Her tongue traced the curves of my chest, painting pictures and I couldn't stop her, even if I wanted to.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry i havent updated in a while, ive been sick and its been my birthday and ive been busy but im going away next week so hopefully ill have loads of time to write chapter 6 :) enjoy!

The first week of the holidays was rather boring; Other than Cas coming back from his aunt's and Kevin coming back from overseas, nothing much went on. As the second week began though, I started to get out of the house more and catch up with the boys. On the Monday, Cas, Kevin and I went to the cinema, on the Wednesday I ran into Cas shopping at the supermartket and on the Thursday Balthazar, Kevin and I went down to the local diner for lunch. All the cool teenagers hung out at the diner, it was like a tradition. And, considering we went to the most popular girl in school's party, we thought maybe we'd give it a shot. 

The food was revolting. I couldn't have been the only person who thought so because Kevin and Balthazar had also pushed their burgers away in disgust.

'This is uh... nice,' Kevin looked around the room to find something to talk about. 'Hey look, there are cute girls here.' He nudged Balthazar beside him who smiled unhappily and gave me a quick stare-I'd told him I saw him kissing the football player at the party. He wasn't ready to tell Kevin. 

'Look at the ass on that chick,' I wolf whistled, trying to loosen the tension at our table.

'Wow, I've never seen so many girls in one place before,' I patted Kevin's shoulder and laughed.

'You'll be getting used to this my-' I stopped. The people at the booth infront of us had stood up, revealing the back of the flaming redhead I knew all too well. 'Hey guys I'll uh... I'll be back in a minute.' Abaddon was sitting alone and I didn't want to waste my oportunity. I stood next to her booth and leant on the top of the seat.

'Hey Abby, mind if I sit down?' I think I winked at her... God I hope not. When she saw me she looked surprised and shocked, then she quickly glanced towards the toilets and her facial muscles relaxed. 

'Sure, no problem,' She patted the spot next to her. I took a seat and put my arm around her, noticing the milkshake with two straws on her table. 'What've you been up to gorgeous? I've been missing you,' She bit my ear seductively.

'Nothing much really, thinking about you,' I hadn't been really, but she was dealing the cards so I thought I'd play the game.

'Friday was fun, but next time,' She whispered the rest. 'I want just a little bit more.' She pulled my lips to hers, taking my body with her and alomst laying it ontop of her own. It was a forcful kiss but that didn't really bother me. Until...

'HEY!' I let go of Abaddon and looked for the source of the voice. 'Get off my girlfriend!' It was undoubtably Crowley's voice coming from the figure in the bathroom dooway. It took me a while to take in what was going on and by the time I understood, the Hell Hound was already standing over our table, tightly gripping my shoulder. Abadon pushed me away and covered her eyes with her hands, breathing heavily in an attempt to force crying.

'I'm so sorry Crowley! He just came up to me and started kissing me and... and I couldn't stop him! I tried, I promise! I would never hurt you baby!' She sobbed into her arms as her now overgrown boyfriend threw me to the ground and followed me as I scrambled slowly backwards. The whole room was silent by then. 

'What the hell do you think you're doing Winnie?' He stomped on my nose, breaking it. 'Trying to get in with my girl?' He kicked the side of my head and laughed. 'You should just go back to kissing boys you faggot.' He lifted his leg to kick my side and rammed his foot into my ribs, causing me to cough up blood onto the floor. I pulled my legs to my chest and continued to feebly drag myself towards the exit, my nails clawing at the tiles, trying to find edges to grab on to. 'Get up you pussy and fight me!' I kept on my way to the door. He jabbed something sharp into my back, stopping me from moving all together. Pain immediately shot through my body. I just wanted to leave. I wanted to lay on my bed and cry for as long as I needed without anyone interupting me. I just wanted to be alone forever. But I couldn't do that. If I went home to my bed, my Dad would see me and God knows what he would do if he saw me bashed in again. He'd rip me to pieces. So I thought of another plan.

I stayed completely still for about thirty seconds to regain a bit of strength. Thankfully, Crowley was too busy laughing and congratulating himself to care what I did. I was so close to the door, I knew I could do it. I stood up, slowly and shakily with the support of the booth next to me (in which sat a shocked looking Kevin and Balthazar) but I stood up. I felt so weak and defenceless, I knew I would collapse at just one punch, but the thought of who I was seeing after kept me going. I backed towards the door, quietly in hope that Crowley wouldn't notice. But he did.

'Excellent, now we can start the real fight,' The bully took a step closer but was stopped as Kevin stepped out from the booth and stood face-to-face with him. 'Out of my way nerd!'

'I'm not a nerd,' He looked so badass. 'I'm Kevin freakin' Solo.' I only stayed to watch him throw the first punch but from what I heard afterwards, the little geek kicked Crowley's ass.

I hobbled out the door and straight round the corner. Castiel's place was close and I knew he was home. I got to his street, ignoring the growing pain in my side as I sped up towards his house. My tears were cooling the burning sensation in my nose and cheeks as I turned through the gate into his house. I knocked heavily on the door, letting my arm slide down the wood after each hit. 

'It's open,' I heard a call from inside. I turned the handle and leant on the door, forgetting how to walk as it opened and falling to the floor, face first.

'Cas help me,' I spoke softly to myself. Then I yelled. 'CAS!' I felt as though every ounce of energy in my body had been drained and all I wanted to do was cry. I heard the stairs creeking and a gasp.

'Oh my god Dean what happened?' Cas lifted me up and threw my arm around his shoulders. I mumbled something to my chest, my head hanging limply from my neck like a ball from string. I mustered up the strength in my legs to help Cas lift me up the stairs to his bedroom. After what felt like an hour, we reached his bed and I lay myself down on the soft mattress, closing my eyes while Cas went downstairs. All I saw was red. All I could think of was pain and yet I still mumbled something to myself. A slur of words that became clearer and clearer the more I said them: 'I'm sorry'.

Cas returned several minutes later with bandages, alcohol and ice. He wrapped the ice in a t-shirt on the floor and lifted my own top, placing the cold one on my wounded back.

'AHH!' My whole body tensed and then relaxed as I became used to the frozen sensation.

'Who did this to you?' Cas sounded angry. And worried. I'd never heard him like that before.

'Crowley,' I breathed softly and sunk into the bed.

'He stabbed you? What the hell-And with a real knife! What is wrong with him?!' He lifted the ice and started dabbing alcohol on the wound. I screamed. 'Shhh, don't worry, I'm just cleansing it.' His voice was still panicky. I continued mumbling quietly.

I opened my eyes. 'I'm sorry,' He didn't hear me and began wrapping bandages around my back. 'I'm sorry,' He ripped some tape from the role on his bedside table. 'I'm sorry.' I felt something cold drip onto my bare skin. Then again. 

'Why are you sorry?' Cas lay next to me and looked me in the eye. We were both crying.

'I'm sorry,' My whispers turned back into mumbles and I started to cry harder. I closed my eyes again and whimpered until arms embraced me and my sobs became muffled against Castiel's chest.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoop whoop chapter 6, hope you guys enjoy! just a warning, there's a little bit of domestic violence in this chapter, no graphic descriptions or anything though :)

I woke up lying on Cas' bed with his arms wrapped loosely around my body. He was still sleeping. He looked so innocent while he slept, the corners of his mouth twitching occasionaly, showing the slightest whisper of a smile. I wonder what he dreamt about that made him look so peaceful, like a sleeping angel. I rolled over onto my back and was quickly reminded of my mistake when a sharp pain shot through my body and rocked me back to a comfortable position on my stomach. I scrunched up my face to hold back a yelp; I didn't want to wake Cas from whatever lovely dream he was having.

I lay there for a minute to properly regain consiousness before slowly lifting myself up and sitting down on the side of the bed. Again, I just sat there and looked out the window to roughly check the time of day. Or night, as it seemed it was past eight or nine PM. I was feeling well enough to stand up and walk about so I decided to write Cas a quick thank you note and head back home:

*Hey Cas, thanks for patching me up and taking care of me earlier. And thanks for putting up with my little chick-flick moment there, sorry about that. I'm feeling much better but I'd love to see you again soon so feel free to drop by anytime. I'm just around the corner if you need me. Dean.*

I was able to walk comfortably home, only a slight throbbing coming from my back. I thought so much about Cas while walking that I completely forgot I'd have to explain it all to Dad when I got back, so seeing him sitting expectantly on the front deck surrounded by empty beer bottles came as a slight surprise.

'Where were you?' He stood up from his old wooden chair.

'Uh, I was just at-'

'And what the hell is wrong with your face? You said you weren't getting bullied,'

'I'm not I just-'

'Don't bullshit me again boy, do you think I'm an idiot?' He'd come down from the deck by then. I tried to avoid looking at him and quickly made eye contact with Sam, sitting at his bedroom window watching us. We smiled at each other. 'Do you think this is some sort of joke?' Dad slapped me. That didn't come as much of a surprise really.

'No Dad, I was just at a friend's place, we had a little fight it's nothing,' He hit me again.

'Don't lie to me Dean, I'm not falling for your shit anymore. Why the hell was this guy abusing you huh?'

'He didn't abuse me we-'

'You told me you were going to lunch,'

'I did and I just ran into him and went back to his okay?'

'Why his? Are you hiding something from me?' He took a step back. 'Are you guys together?'

'No Dad-'

'Hey Dean, you left your wallet at mine,' Cas walked through our front gate, stopping abruptly when he realised what was happening. 

'Is this him then? Your boyfriend?' He slapped me again, then I felt Castiel's hand slip into mine. 'Get out.' Sammy was standing in the front doorway now, tears streaming down his face.

'Dad, Cas and I are just-'

'GET OUT,' He stomped towards me and pointed towards the gate. 'I'm not tolerating fags in my house.' Sam ran towards me.

'DEAN!' Dad held him back and took him inside, slamming the door behind them. I could still hear them houses down the road, Sammy crying and screaming and Dad screaming louder. I hope he didn't touch him. I would've done anything to take Sam with me to Castiel's. Anything to know that he was safe.

We were half way to Cas' place before either of us said anything. Our hands were still clasped together, my grip growing tighter and tighter until I couldn't stay silent any longer. I burst into tears but kept walking.

'I'm so sorry Cas, I didn't want you to see any of that and I don't know what to do now and I'm just so scared and-'

'You have nothing to be sorry about Dean, none of this is your fault,' He stopped walking and turned to face me. He lifted my drooping chin, staring at me calmly with his beautiful blue eyes. 'You can stay at my place as long as you like and we can talk or not talk about whatever you want. Don't worry, everything will be alright.' His huge puppy dog eyes stared straight into mine and he smiled. More than a whisper this time, a full, real smile that said 'trust me'.

I stayed at Cas' for a long time. For the first couple of days we just talked about the other night and other things like our background and our past. I told him about my mother dying in a car crash when I was five and he talked about what his Dad was like. The fourth night was the last night we talked about that sort of stuff.

'What's Gabriel studying?' We sat at opposite ends of the bed, our legs outstretched and our backs up against the wooden head and foot.

'Engineering I think,' Cas' voice was at it's deepest then, probably an octave lower than mine at the time. And he spoke more freely around me, less proper and pronounced I'd noticed. 'I'm not really sure he wants to do that though, you know, as a career. I think he's more into acting.'

'What do you want to do?' He screwed up is face.

'I don't know. Maybe...' He shifted around a bit and ran a hand through his shaggy dark hair in thought. 'I don't know. What about you?'

'I kind of wanna write,' Cas looked stunned when I said this.

'I didn't take you for the writing type,'

'Yeah?' I laughed. 'I dunno, I like writing and it might be fun to make a career out of.'

'Do what makes you happy I guess,' He smiled. There was a moment of silence. 

'So where's your Mom?' He shuffled nervously in his spot.

'Don't know,'

'You know how long she'll be away for?'

'No idea,' Cas was avoiding eye contact again. 'She tends to just come and go. She's not around very often so usually Gabe takes care of me but he's not here anymore so...' He rubbed his eyes. 'Mom just puts money in an account for me so I'm doing fine on my own.' He smiled again but tears were welling up in his eyes.

'So you're alone?' He nodded. I knew how he felt now. We were both alone, we had no one to fall back on but each other and for some reason, that didn't feel all that bad to me. Three seconds of silence. Three long seconds that felt like a hundred, where I stared at Cas and he stared at the mattress. Singular tears were rolling down his cheeks until he looked up at me and then, with no delay, I leapt across the bed and pressed my lips against his own. It wasn't elegant or graceful or romantic, but it was perfect. Neither of us pulled away. I knelt on the bed, one leg on either side of Cas' stretched out ones, one hand holding his jaw and the other clutching his messy, black hair. He unbuttoned my shirt and wrapped his arms around the bare skin underneath. Avoiding my scar, he moved his fingers over each bone in my spine, starting from the neck and making his way down to my lower back where he stopped and held my hips, rocking us back and forth to the rythm of the kiss. I never wanted to let him go. I loved Castiel. But then he pulled away. I sat back on his upper thighs and stroked the hand he held to my face with my thumb. He was still crying-heavier now.

'I'm sorry, Dean,' He still couldn't look at me.

'Why? I'm sorry this isn't the right time is it, I don't want to make you do-'

'I want this Dean, I've wanted this for so long and I'm sorry I haven't told you or done anything I was just... too scared.'

'Hey,' I held his waist to reassure him. 'In that case, I'm sorry too.'


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, hope you enjoy the chapter! Sorry I think I've been a while but I had no internet while I was away, I know, how did I survive right? Anyway, last chapter will be coming soon :)

Living with Cas the entire holidays was the best thing that had happened to me in a long time. The worst part being when I had to go back home to collect my belongings. I had organised with Sam to drop by on a day when Dad was out; God knows what he was doing, probably out at the pub getting drunk or something. Seeing Sammy was great though. Dad hadn't touched him and he was still happy and that was all that mattered to me. 

Cas taught me to feel comfortable with myself and us in public, spontaneously planting kisses on my cheeks and lips at the supermarket and pinning me up against the doors in the freezer isle. Going back to school wasn't that bad either; we weren't hiding our relationship so we were prepared for the bullies and their teasing. First term ran smoothly enough, it could've been better, but it definately could've been worse. Until Abaddon. It was the last Friday of the term and I couldn't be happier to leave that hell hole. It was the end of the day and I was packing my bag, secretly grinning to myself as I remembered nothing was stopping Cas and I from being together for the next two weeks. Then behind me:

'Hey Dean,' The hallway was crowded and loud, giving me a good excuse to act like I didn't hear her. 'HEY DEAN.' The silence in the hall was impossible to avoid now. All eyes were on us and a clear path was made between me and Abaddon. She walked slowly towards me.

'Leave me alone Abaddon,' 

'Lost the nickname already have we?' She giggled. 'Look, rumour has it that you and Castiel are well... together, and we wanted to send you a warning.'

'We?'

'Crowley and I, idiot,' She flicked her long red hair out of her face and lowered her voice to just above a whisper. 'So, if you don't stay away from that little faggot we're gonna bring you down okay?'

'Why? The hell did he do to you?' Abaddon's eyes widened.

'Oh,' She slammed my locker door shut. 'He hasn't told you?' She suddenly looked interested and intruiged, grinning at my confused expression. She lowered her voice again. 'Crowley and him used to be best friends. From like, pre-school to 5th grade. They lived next door to each other so they were always hanging out and shit. Anyway, at the start of 6th grade, I saw them go behind the school so I followed them and The Freak kissed Crowley. Obviously he was outraged so he stopped talking to Castiel and so did everyone else. Then we found out about his parents and how his Dad was an alcoholic and his Mom works as a prostitute out of town so she's always away.' My body had tensed and I curled my hand into a tight fist by my side. 'I can't blame her though, I'd do anything to get away from the screw up if I were her.' With my left arm, I hauled my backpack over my shoulder.

'I'm so sick of you,' And with my right, I threw the strongest punch I could, hitting her straight on her jaw bone. Before she had time to recover, I sprinted towards the school's front door, listening to the wails in pain and death threats she shouted from across the hall. 

'YOU'RE DEAD DEAN! YOU AND YOUR FILTHY BOYFRIEND ARE DEAD!' I heard her muffled screams as I ran across the school grounds, both smiling and crying with the knowledge of Cas' backstory and the feeling of having finally hit that demon of a girl.

I ran all the way to Cas' place. It was only a few streets away but with everything going through my mind, five minutes felt like twenty and even the wooden floor at home felt like a soft mattress for my tired and worn out body. I sat on the cold ground and leant my back against the staircase, crying silently and staring at nothing, thinking about nothing. Cas came through the door, smiling happily when he saw me.

'Schooooooool's out, for summer!' He sang, his arms swinging in the air. 'Well, fall but what's the difference. We can be completely alone for two whole weeks.' He leaned in and pecked my lips, noticing my mental absence when his kiss wasn't returned. 'Are you okay?' He held my cheek and wiped the tears from under my eyes.

'Why didn't you tell me?'

'Tell you what?' 

'You and Crowley,' I stood up and made my way to the living room sofa.

'What do you mean? There's nothing between me and Crowley, he's a complete dick why would I-'

'Dammit you know what I'm talking about Cas,' I looked straight into his ocean blue eyes. We'd both stopped just infront of the sofa and engaged in a long, silent stare. Castiel sighed and sat down.

'Whatever you heard, it wasn't true,'

'Really Cas? 'Cause right now Abaddon's story is sounding pretty believable.' I sat down too.

'Abaddon? I thought you stopped trusting her a long time ago,' He made himself comfortable on the old couch. 'Listen to me Dean, promise you'll believe me and not her?' There was a pause. I hesitated.

'Promise,' Cas let out a breath I hadn't noticed he'd been holding and nodded.   
'Crowley used to be a good kid. A good friend, you've probably heard all the boring stuff already. So one lunch he dragged me behind school and started talking to me. We went to that area a lot and just talked about nothing important so it didn't seem all that strange until he started speaking really seriously. He said "Cas, I've wanted to tell you this for so long; you're the best friend I've ever had and ever since we met I've wanted to tell you how much I like you but..." and then he kissed me. Back then I didn't know I was gay and this came as a huge surprise to me bacause I liked kissing him,' He looked at me with his droopy blue eyes and continued on. 'Unfortunately, Abaddon was hiding behind a tree and had seen everything. Crowley saw her hiding when her hair blew around the side of the trunk and grabbed her to tell her to keep it a secret. She told him she saw me kissing him and apparently, Crowley didn't mind the idea of spreading that rumour instead. So obviously that was known by everyone within a week and after we stopped talking, Crowley decided it would be funny to act like we'd never met and tell people my Mom is a whore and that my Dad deserved to die.' He swallowed to hold back tears and I patted his thigh.

'He didn't Cas. No one deserves to die,' I kissed his forehead. 'And I'm sure your Mom loves you very much, she wouldn't leave you for that.'

'No, she hasn't left me for that', he looked at me, his eyes filled with tears but his voice still steady. 'She has a boyfriend in the next state over. She thinks she loves him but he hates me and I hate him so she decided to go live with him instead. She still visits occasionally but she hasn't in a long time.' He looked at the couch and I looked at him for a long time before I gave him a huge bear hug and told him:

'I'm sorry.'


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter everyone! Hope you guys have enjoyed reading, thanks for the comments and kudos and hits and everything! I'll try to keep posting more fics in the future so enjoy your final chapter :)

'What are you going to write about?' Cas lay in my arms as we watched Doctor Who from his single bed.

'What?'

'You said you wanted to write when you're older, what do you want to write about?'

'Dunno, I haven't found the right genre yet, I'm still experimenting... Maybe I'll write something supernatural like this,' I gestured towards the television. 'Maybe I'll write about us.' I ran my fingers through his hair and smiled at him.

'You'd have to make us sound more interesting though, maybe you could combine the two genres?'

'Not a bad idea...' I put on a dramatic voice and waved my hands through the air to set the scene. 'A romance novel about the new boy in town who falls in love with... a beautiful angel sent from heaven!' Cas chuckled. 'But to be together they have to defeat the evil demons, Crowley and Abaddon.' I grinned at the laughing boy on my lap, ceasing his laughter only by pressing my lips against his own. Even then, I could still feel his smile against our kiss. He screambled up my chest to make himself feel taller, finally sitting still when he was just an inch or two shorter than me. Then he pulled away.

'No suspensful endings or deaths okay? We don't need another Moffat ruining our lives,' I giggled and kissed his forehead.

'Well I can't guarentee anything,' Though David Tennant is difficult to look away from, Cas and I had completely lost interest in the show and found a new obsession in each other's lips. Every moment we had then was precious. Every time he scrunched my hair, every time he ran his fingertips over the bones in my spine and the curves in my back, every time he whispered in my ear. He would always whisper something different, half the time I couldn't understand what he's said but after every sentence he would softly mumble 'I love you' and that was all I needed to hear. 

Cas rolled onto his side and tangled our legs tightly together. Knowing that I could have this for the next week and a half was the only thing that gave me the courage to pull away. I had to visit Sam to check he was okay.

'Cas,' I spoke through gentle kisses. 'Cas I'd better get going,' He didn't stop. 'Cas I'll only be a few hours okay?' He finally pulled away. He was ontop of me now, sitting on my thighs with each of his legs on either side of my own.

'Take as long as you need Dean, he's your brother,' He stroked my cheek with his thumb and smiled. 'He couldn't be luckier to have a brother like you.'

'Almost as lucky as I am to have you,' I leant in for one last kiss before ushering him off my lap and picking up my jacket on the way to the door. 'So I'll call you when the train's a stop away from your station and we'll meet on the carriage okay?' I stood with my hand on the doornob and looked over at Cas who had now walked up to stand directly infront of my face. He nodded and kissed me.

'I love you,' he spoke at full volume. I kissed him back.

'I love you too.'

****************

'Hey Sammy,' My eyebrows rose in surprise. The ten year old who answered the door was rapidly gaining on my height, standing at only an inch or two shorter than me.

'Dean!' Even so, his voice was still as high and innocent as ever. After a quick hug, I was let inside the all too familiar house and led down the same old hallway I was used to. As we passed my old bedroom, I caught a glimpse of what was now an underkept study littered with crumpled paper and blunt pencils. I was offered a drink and a seat in the living room oposite where Sam sat once I had been served.

'How have you been?' I asked, relaxing back into the sofa.

'I'm okay,' He smiled. 'It's good to see you again Dean.' I chuckled softly.

'You too kid,' I cleared my thoat. 'So where's Dad?' Sam shuffled in his seat and sat up like a fully grown man, leags slightly spread with an arm on each knee and his palms open. He even sounded grown up as he explained.

'So get this, Dad picked up drinking again once you left, staying out till late every night and coming home completely drunk so I didn't mention you until I knew he was sober last week. So anyway I started asking him questions and then he tried to hit me,' I tensed up and slammed my fist on the coffee table infront of me. 'Don't worry, he missed, I'm fine. But then he just said "I'm going out", put a couple hundred dollars on the table and left!' I sighed and let my head hang limply from my neck.

'I'm sorry Sammy, I should've come earlier. You could've stayed with us,' I breathed out heavily. 'I've been a terrible brother.' He shuffled forwards and placed his hand on my knee.

'I'm fine Dean, I've been staying with friends, borrowing suplies, they understand and they've been happy to help. You're not a terrible brother,' I looked up at him. 'You're the best brother anyone could've asked for.' I rested my head on his shoulder as he drew me into a tight embrace. It felt really good to have family again.

I stayed with Sam for another two hours before heading to the nearest train station. I boarded the first carriage and sat on the station's side so I knew I'd see Cas as we pulled into his stop. All I could think about was him. His station was only three stops after mine and I grinned at the thought of seeing him so soon. I was one stop away and, as promised, picked up my phone to call Cas. No answer. *That's okay, he doesn't often pick up the first time* I thought and tried again. Still no answer. *Maybe it's busy and loud to hear his phone ring...*. 

The train got closer and closer to his station until I could see the platform that would've been empty if it weren't for the flaming readhead and tall, dark haired boy walking slowly towards Cas. He was standing dead still on the edge as the bullies walked towards him. Then Crowley stomped forwards and Cas stumbled back. The train jerked to a halt and a loud thud was heard from the driver's carriage.

I knew exactly what had happened but I wasn't prepared to admit it. The feeling of knowing was worse than remaining clueless. I can't remember what happened after the driver finally opened the carriage door but my face was cold and wet and my stomach felt curled and twisted into tight knots. *It's all my fault* I thought. I knew I didn't do it but it still felt like my fault. I could've gotten there earlier. I could've ignored Abaddon all together. It could've been me. It was all my fault. My teacher told me not to write that but it's too late now, just like it's too late to save him.

There are so many things I didn't tell him. So many things I wanted to ask him. He was the best person to have ever entered my life and now he's gone. I miss him so much. I love him more than anything and because of that, I'm trying to stay positive. I always try to remember that now I have an angel looking down on me, taking care of me. I try to remember him for the best person he was. I try to remember him for his best moments.


End file.
